When You Wonder If Your Work Makes a Difference

So many times, throughout a career, a First Responder might doubt and question if their efforts ever even made a difference. Don’t give in to these negative thoughts because I can tell you wholeheartedly that YOU DO make a difference in people’s lives!

I remember one afternoon being directed by my supervisor to head to Phoenix Children’s Hospital to investigate a possible child abuse case involving a toddler boy, that I will refer to as “Baby Adam”. Upon arrival, I located the doctor, nurses, and social worker who appeared upset yet relieved that a detective was now on scene. I soon learned that the little boy would not survive a traumatic head injury at the base of his skull and that the evidence of injury was not consistent with what the stepmother had relayed to medical personnel.

Now, I have been the lead investigating detective on countless bloody and often, gruesome scenes (aggravated assaults, suicides, and homicides) yet this case seemed to strike a chord and affect me more than most cases. I walked into the hospital room where I saw Baby Adam for the first time. His lifeless body was hooked to so many machines and he appeared so peaceful and innocent. I placed his little hand in my hand and tearfully whispered and told him not to worry because Detective Baldwin was here and would get justice for him. I promised that I would get Justice for All.

Abuse cases involving children can be difficult to charge and prosecute. Without any other evidence (victim statement, eyewitness testimony, video, etc) I would need to get an admission and confession from the person who committed this horrific crime. I then objectively conducted a preliminary interview of the stepmother and the child’s father and quickly identified the stepmom as the suspect. For the next 90 minutes I would interview the stepmom and refute her story (that Baby Adam refused to eat and then started having a seizure). I continued to probe and point out that this story did not match the injury and that I knew she was lying to me. I could feel my body shaking with adrenaline when the stepmom finally broke and admitted that Baby Adam was crying continually and was making her mad because he refused to eat. He would not stop crying so she picked him up, lifted him above her head, and threw him headfirst to the floor inside their house. He continued to cry so she picked him up again and, for a second time, threw him headfirst to the floor. This time Baby Adam stopped crying (due to the significant injuries he sustained). Instead of calling 911, she phoned the baby’s father (who was at work) and told him that Baby Adam was having a seizure. Eventually 911 was called and the Police, Fire Department, and Paramedics arrived on scene and the toddler was flown to the hospital.

When gang members and drug dealers got assaulted in a fight or shot during a drive-by, I still investigated the cases but not with the same emotion and intensity. Yes, I wanted to solve these cases, but I used to say, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”. These people were not innocent and knew the risks and what could happen to them due to their dangerous lifestyle choices. However, when a child or an elderly person was assaulted or abused, my investigations went into warp speed. These are the truly innocent people (who could not defend themselves) that I took an oath to protect!

The Emotional Weight First Responders Carry

After leaving the hospital I was driving toward Baby Adam’s house late at night to conduct a search warrant hoping to find additional evidence at the crime scene. I realized that as I was in the car driving by myself, tears were streaming down my face. I felt so sad and upset for Baby Adam. The person he was supposed to trust to protect and love him, did just the opposite. She killed him! The stepmom went to prison, and I believe that I made a difference when I fulfilled my promise to get justice for Baby Adam.

Despite this tragic scene, some good did come out of it. Please pay attention to this because this key! A few weeks later, I received a letter from the Donor Network of Arizona that stated,

Dear valued First Responders:

A few weeks back, you were dispatched to a residence in response to a 2 year old boy having a seizure. EMS and Fire personnel immediately began ventilations and compressions. CPR continued as the patient was carried downstairs and handed off to the responding HALO crew (Med evac). The patient was flown to Phoenix Children’s Hospital and transferred to their care.

Because of your efforts and those of the hospital staff to save his life, Baby Adam’s family was comforted in the knowledge that every effort was made to help their loved one. And when, ultimately, his life could not be saved, his family made the generous decision to share life to others through organ donation.

Hope Rising: Four Lives Saved Because You Didn’t Give Up

The gift of both kidneys was most gratefully received by a 36-year-old man in the state of New York. This gift spared a husband, and father of two. He and his family are so very thankful. It made a difference to that one.

Also, a 6-year-old boy in Ohio received the gift of the intestine transplant. He and his family are so thankful for the extreme generosity that has given this child a second chance at life. It made a difference to that one.

Additionally, a one-year-old boy from California is alive today thanks to having been given the gift of a liver transplant. The family is grateful and understand that this precious gift to their child was at the great cost of life from someone else. It made a difference to that one.

Finally, the gift of the heart transplant saved the life of a one-year-old girl in Texas. This transplant was her only hope of survival. Her family has no words to express their gratitude for the generosity that gave their child life. It made a difference to that one.

Thank you to all First Responders involved. Thank you for continuing to actively support this patient early in the process. Because you did not decelerate care and treated this patient, he was able to give the gift of life!

To all First Responders reading this story today….People are counting on you. Be the DIFFERENCE in someone’s life today!

If this story stirred something in you, you’re not alone. If you need prayer, support, or someone to connect with, we’re here to help you take the next step toward hope. Please reach out to us through our Contact Us page, or leave a comment below.